One of the things I remember most about starting school was that I had LA Gear pumps.1 They were white with blue trim. A classmate named Ricky had a pair that were white with red trim. I wasn't really friends with Ricky before 3rd grade, and I wasn't really friends with him after. But we had a bond. A bond forged with a cheap plastic air bladder sewn into a faux-leather sneaker tongue by Asian children our own age. A few months into school and half the boys in the class had LA Gear pumps. I was a trend setter. My one and only time.
In 1991 the biggest issue facing our world was the ever-growing hole in the ozone layer. I discontinued using CFC’s that year. Aerosol cans became the enemy. At some point between then and now I forgot what a chloroflorocarbon was, and stopped caring how much of them I released into the atmosphere. How is that ozone layer doing anyway? We never hear about that thing anymore.
In 1991 my favorite television shows were Full House and America’s Funniest Home Videos. I know this because I wrote a journal entry about it. I don’t know where that journal is. I’m not even sure I ever read that entry again after the day I wrote it. However, I clearly remember writing it. I know for sure Full House was a popular show in 1991 among third graders. Each morning we had something called “sharing time.” We basically got to say whatever we wanted… you know, get things off your chest in front of the whole class. In retrospect this probably wasn’t the best idea. The teacher definitely opened herself up for some awkward conversations. Each Monday after the new episode of Full House aired the TGIF before, “sharing time” turned into 25 third graders recapping the episode. No less than 5 students recited the Michelle Tanner zinger lines each week. That little girl was always getting into some sort of hi-jinks then using her cuteness to come away unscathed. This was back in the peak of the show. Back before Uncle Jessie moved Rebecca in and ruined everything.
I’ve just now realized that both of my favorite television shows starred Bob Saget. Surely he played no part in it. Mere coincidence.
In 1991 my third grade class put on a variety show. I wouldn't say “talent” show because that would imply some of it was involved. We had the opportunity to form teams and come up with some sort of performance. My group had nothing. We were lost. One evening when I got home from school I penned a simple rhyme with an anti-drug message. It turned into song… and then a series of short drug-related dialogues that a 3rd grader might encounter on “the street”. It all came together to form quite a narrative.
The song went something like…
Say no to drugs. They are no good.There were more verses. At some point I think I rhymed “crack” and “whack”. The entire thing was horrible. I am almost embarrassed to let my mind peruse the memories. In every skit our “drug user” was a jittery kid that slurred his speech and his body continually convulsed, sometimes causing him to fall to the ground. If nothing else, our Dick Van Dyke-esque physical comedy was a hit with the 9 year-olds.
Say no to drugs. You know you should.
Say no to drugs. They are not cool.
Say no to drugs, And stay in school.
In our show there were two girls that sang and acted out the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. In 1991 the show was in its second season. I remember it being cool. The show was cool and the fact that these girls chose to sing (“rap”) the theme song while pantomiming actions that went along with the lyrics was also cool. In the days leading up the show we had a couple groups rehearse their acts each afternoon. I distinctly remember the girls performing the song several times. The teacher was having trouble understanding the lyrics, “Yo, homes smell you later!” She asked for better enunciation, and then an explanation of what the line meant in order to make sure it was okay for a classroom setting.
The show went well. We performed for the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade classes. I was so nervous to sing in front of the 5th graders… with their refined musical tastes and all. We finished off the show-run with a performance for our parents. At the time I remember thinking about how much they would love the positive anti-drug message. I wonder how many of those parents would later teach my former classmates how to cook meth.
-
Reebok had a shoe called the "Pump". The LA Gear version was actually called the "Regulator", but everybody referred to both of them as pumps. ↩
