It's All Over

LOST is no more.  We will never see a new episode of our favorite television series again.  I should feel sad.  Deep down I kinda do, but I was ready for it to end.  The magic was starting to wane; the wonder was starting to fade.

Now that the finale is over and all the questions that are ever going to be answered are out on the table I have to keep telling myself one thing.  It was a great journey, and you can't let the ending take away from how much fun you had along the way.  There was no possible way to present an ending that would totally satisfy.  It just couldn't have been done no matter how much time they spent on it.

This is a long one, keep truckin'.......

The End Is Near

It is amazing to think that the series finale of LOST will take place tomorrow. It doesn't seem possible that it can be over. At the same time, I am almost happy to see it go. There has been a lot of talk about quitting while you are on top. At the start of Season 5 I would have agreed that was exactly what would happen. They would blow us away with a solid final 2 seasons. However, I cannot feel that way anymore. The second half of last season and this entire season has been a major disappointment. The show had so much going for it. It is hard to imagine that it fizzled out so much for me at the end.

I don't have a problem with the story that is being told. There is no way I could have planned out and written a better ending for the plot. My problem is with the execution. Aside from the great characters and writing, LOST was so good at telling the story. The way the events have played out over the past 20 episodes has been a mess. Back in the day I loved analyzing everything that was presented to us, and thinking about what it could all mean. I listened to podcasts that talked about the show and how everything connected. This past season I have only had brief moments of interest like that. This season I have stopped listening to the podcasts. I have stopped even getting excited for the new episodes. I watch because I want to know what is going to happen, but I no longer really care about it. We are getting answers to the questions we so badly wanted to get, but they are being presented in a way that is completely anti-climactic.

"Hello old man, It's 27 year-old me"

It is a Saturday night around 8:30pm and I am considering lying down and going to bed. My wife is already in bed reading her book. I feel restless, not sure what to do tonight. I don't really feel like watching a movie, but there is little else to do. I am experiencing this really odd feeling. It comes around almost every weekend. All week long while I am at work I long to be able to just relax; to have nothing to do. On the weekend I usually have nothing planned, so I literally don't do anything.

I have this feeling of restlessness, but no motivation to actually get up and be active. During the work week I long for the weekend. I feel like I have so much I want to accomplish. When I really think about it, the only thing I want to accomplish is doing nothing. I really need have better purpose for my time on the weekend. It doesn't help that I have been on a streak of disappointing weekend circumstances. As you probably already know, my allergies have been heinous this spring. I have been pretty much eliminated for outdoor activity, lest I want to feel like total crud for a couple days following. My allergies have subsided in the last few weeks, but 2 weekends ago I was really sick. Last weekend, and this weekend so far, have been rained out. I have been stuck inside, and I am starting to get a little bit stir crazy.

"Mr. Outgoing"

I am being a lousy secret public journalist. My whole goal with this blog was to write often. I wasn't going to be so concerned with quality, as long as I had the quantity. Writing is like most anything else, practice makes perfect. If you do it often enough you will eventually become better. I am lacking subject matter, but I need to stop using that as an excuse for not writing.

If you know me very well, you realize I am actually a pretty shy person. I will not command a room, or go out of my way to talk to a neighbor. I have never been one for small talk; I would rather have a meaningful conversation than engage in pointless banter. I am quiet when I meet new people, or when I am in moderately sized groups. In my personal life these attributes are pretty much without consequence. However, my introverted nature is proving to be a liability in my career. As an engineer I got away with it. I wasn't expected to be "Mr. Outgoing". As long as I could communicate effectively on a technical level I was good to go. Now that I am on the business side of things I am expected to be more friendly. My job performance no longer depends on my critical thinking ability. Now I have to be nice.

This is actually a good thing for me. Lately I have been making an effort to just generally be a more positive person. Over the past few years I have somehow become a really cynical person. I don't know if was my entrance into corporate America, or my hobby of film criticism; but I was becoming bitter. I always saw myself as an optimist, but I could not deny the fact that negativity was getting the best of me. Hopefully I caught it early, and I am on the path of reformation.

Facebook Fan Page

I was convinced today to create a facebook fanpage for the pretend film critic.  I already have a few fans, now make sure you add your name to the list.  I realize that I have all these facebook accounts, twitter sites, and blogs.  It gets to be a bit circular reference-y.  I promise that I am done setting up profiles, buying domain names, and generally complicating your digital life.  Add me on facebook to see my comments on what I am watching, and get links to trailers, and read my general movie chatter.   If you like movies, "like" me on facebook.

Pig Latin

From a very young age I have had a strange relationship with sleep.  I like being asleep.  For the most part I really enjoy being awake.  It is the transition between the two that I have always struggled with.

When I was a young boy I used to hate going to sleep.  I have never been the type of person who can easily pass into dreamland as soon as his head hits the pillow. I would lay in my bed and contemplate the silence.  My mind would start to wander.  Undoubtedly it would settle on the evil that was just outside my window, plotting how to get inside.  I planned out escape routes and developed action plans for when the intruder finally came to murder me.

Nowadays things are not much different.  I still lay in bed and imagine what I would do if someone were to come crashing through the big window on the front of the house. However, most of the time my mind just wanders; jumping from one thought to the next; all connected by a series of loose strings.  My mind will be so active that it becomes nearly impossible to fall asleep.  One strategy that I have for relaxing myself and slowing down my brain is to focus on a single memory and try to recall every detail I possibly can.  If I put all of my effort onto one thing from my past it will hopefully keep my mind from jumping on the thought train that is always chugging away from slumber.