1991 Nostalgia

Every now and then I will randomly have a memory that starts me down a path. This morning I remembered the fall of 1991. I was a chubby 9 year-old that had just started the third grade. It was a time where I feel like I came into my own. I even wrote and performed anti-drug themed musical theater that year.

One of the things I remember most about starting school was that I had LA Gear pumps.¹ They were white with blue trim. A classmate named Ricky had a pair that were white with red trim. I wasn't really friends with Ricky before 3rd grade, and I wasn't really friends with him after. But we had a bond. A bond forged with a cheap plastic air bladder sewn into a faux-leather sneaker tongue by Asian children our own age. A few months into school and half the boys in the class had LA Gear pumps. I was a trend setter. My one and only time.

In 1991 the biggest issue facing our world was the ever-growing hole in the ozone layer. I discontinued using CFC’s that year. Aerosol cans became the enemy. At some point between then and now I forgot what a chloroflorocarbon was, and stopped caring how much of them I released into the atmosphere. How is that ozone layer doing anyway? We never hear about that thing anymore.

In 1991 my favorite television shows were Full House and America’s Funniest Home Videos. I know this because I wrote a journal entry about it. I don’t know where that journal is. I’m not even sure I ever read that entry again after the day I wrote it. However, I clearly remember writing it. I know for sure Full House was a popular show in 1991 among third graders. Each morning we had something called “sharing time.” We basically got to say whatever we wanted… you know, get things off your chest in front of the whole class. In retrospect this probably wasn’t the best idea. The teacher definitely opened herself up for some awkward conversations. Each Monday after the new episode of Full House aired the TGIF before, “sharing time” turned into 25 third graders recapping the episode. No less than 5 students recited the Michelle Tanner zinger lines each week. That little girl was always getting into some sort of hi-jinks then using her cuteness to come away unscathed. This was back in the peak of the show. Back before Uncle Jessie moved Rebecca in and ruined everything.

I’ve just now realized that both of my favorite television shows starred Bob Saget. Surely he played no part in it. Mere coincidence.

In 1991 my third grade class put on a variety show. I wouldn't say “talent” show because that would imply some of it was involved. We had the opportunity to form teams and come up with some sort of performance. My group had nothing. We were lost. One evening when I got home from school I penned a simple rhyme with an anti-drug message. It turned into song… and then a series of short drug-related dialogues that a 3rd grader might encounter on “the street”. It all came together to form quite a narrative.

The song went something like…

Say no to drugs. They are no good.
Say no to drugs. You know you should.
Say no to drugs. They are not cool.
Say no to drugs, And stay in school.

There were more verses. At some point I think I rhymed “crack” and “whack”. The entire thing was horrible. I am almost embarrassed to let my mind peruse the memories. In every skit our “drug user” was a jittery kid that slurred his speech and his body continually convulsed, sometimes causing him to fall to the ground. If nothing else, our Dick Van Dyke-esque physical comedy was a hit with the 9 year-olds.

In our show there were two girls that sang and acted out the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. In 1991 the show was in its second season. I remember it being cool. The show was cool and the fact that these girls chose to sing (“rap”) the theme song while pantomiming actions that went along with the lyrics was also cool. In the days leading up the show we had a couple groups rehearse their acts each afternoon. I distinctly remember the girls performing the song several times. The teacher was having trouble understanding the lyrics, “Yo, homes smell you later!” She asked for better enunciation, and then an explanation of what the line meant in order to make sure it was okay for a classroom setting.

The show went well. We performed for the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade classes. I was so nervous to sing in front of the 5th graders… with their refined musical tastes and all. We finished off the show-run with a performance for our parents. At the time I remember thinking about how much they would love the positive anti-drug message. I wonder how many of those parents would later teach my former classmates how to cook meth.

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1. Reebok had a shoe called the "Pump". The LA Gear version was actually called the "Regulator", but everybody referred to both of them as pumps. ↩
   

Back From KC

I spent the last several days in Kansas City for work. It was a fun trip. I stayed near the Country Club Plaza area. It is an extremely nice part of town. I've been there a couple times now and I'm really impressed with it; really good restaurants and shopping. It is a fun atmosphere.

I drove back last night after our meeting. Working on a Saturday is kind of a bummer, but it wasn't bad. I was home in time to play with Amelia for a couple hours before she went to bed. I was only gone for a few days but missed that little girl so much.

This morning Amelia was playing with her kitchen and she brought out a tray of little cakes that is part of her toy tea set. She was pretending to gobble them down and giggling, then she would hand one to each of us and we would do it too. She walked back to her kitchen and answered her play phone, "Hello. I'm eating cakes. I am silly. Bye bye." She is the funniest kid. I can't believe how well she is talking now and how much stuff she can identify. She is soaking it all in.

Good Birthday Week

I had a pretty excellent birthday week. I was a bachelor for the entire week leading up to it, but last Sunday my wife and baby girl came home. We celebrated on Monday with some rib-eyes and veggies on the grill and of course I got a cheesecake. My wife also got me beer, which is always a good bet for a gift. It was a busy week at work that flew by.

This weekend was pretty laid back. Amelia and I got to spend Saturday morning together. We made a shopping trip to Walmart to get her some more milk, then we played. She loves the kitchen we got her. She is always cooking something and answering her phone. She has a shopping cart and today we played grocery store. She got to pick things out and pay for them, then put everything away in her kitchen. I think her favorite was putting the coins in her pocket. She thought that was pretty awesome

She is really starting to put words together lately. It is impressive. Her favorite phrase to start out with is, "Mommy, I wanna..." After we played grocery store she went to her bag of blocks and said, "Mommy, I wanna buy blocks." She had to put a few blocks in her shopping cart and then take some money out of her pocket... only to put it right back in. Last night she was playing with her kitchen on her own. She turned to face the living room and clear as day said, "Mommy, I want my goat." She went over to her toy farm and we found her little goat. It was so random. It always catches you off guard when she makes a sentence that you can totally understand. But asking for a goat seemed so strange I thought for sure I had heard her wrong.

Amelia had her 18 month checkup at the doctor this week. She is still small. She is in the 10th percentile for weight and head size, but she has moved up to the 25th percentile for height. So, she is getting bigger at least. When we were at the doctor they were asking about her speech, and if she could say any words yet. She was sitting on my lap facing me and right after the doctor asked about the words she busted out with, "Mommy, Daddy has buttons." I was so proud. I'm pretty sure she is a genius. Of course the last time I thought she was a genius I caught her trying to eat the wing of the Styrofoam airplane we bought her.

Yesterday after Amanda got home from work she took Amelia swimming with some friends and I went for a bike ride. I haven't ridden much at all this year and when I do it just reminds me how out of shape I am. The 90° weather felt pretty good compared to the 105° we had the week before. I rode 25 miles then came home and mowed the grass. It has been so dry this summer that the grass hasn't grown. The last time I mowed was the end of June.

I don't know if it was the mowing, the change in weather, or allergies... but this morning I woke up with a really bad sore throat. Amelia hasn't been feeling great either. She is getting both of her incisors and I think that is a lot of it. She hasn't been eating or sleeping well, and she's been moodier than normal. Hopefully they pop through and we get our sweet little girl back.

Sailor Highace Neo fountain pen

I love pens! Even so, I had never owned, or even used a fountain pen. I was intimidated by them for some reason. Lately my pen collection has been growing. I've discovered micro-tip gel pens as well as the Retro 51 Tornado. I'm altering ink refills to fit the barrels I prefer. I am getting in deep. Still, I didn't have a fountain pen. I always assumed a fountain pen would give a blotchy inconsistent ink flow. I was sure the liquid ink would bleed through to the other side of the page, which is a deal-breaker for me. I'm sure some fountain pens do those things, but the one I picked is nearly perfect what I needed.

I was pretty well set on buying the Lamy Safari extra fine nib. However, before I pulled the trigger I sent a message to Brad Dowdy (@dowdyism on twitter), author of penaddict.com. He kindly replied to me and recommended I look into the Sailor Highace Neo. I checked it out and I was sold. I put in my order.

The Sailor Highace is a great starter fountain pen. The fine nib with Sailor blue black ink is a nice combination. It feels so good to write with. The line is sharp and clear and there is no bleed-through whatsoever. It looks and feels great on the Moleskine paper I most commonly use.

The pen is extremely light-weight. I knew this going in and was worried it would feel "cheap". It doesn't. It is light, but feels well made. With the cap posted it has a great balance. I thought the Retro 51 Tornado was the best feeling pen to write with, but this one is definitely in the running. My hands typically feel fatigued after a long stint of writing. I wrote for a long time with the Sailor and my hand still felt fine. The light weight combined with the lighter pressure required for the fountain pen made for an extremely comfortable writing experience.

I almost never write with blue ink. I always reach for black first. When I was deciding on this pen something made me go with the Sailor blue black ink. I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't know whether it would be extremely dark blue or what. It is just normal blue, which I was a little disappointed with, but other that that is is really great ink. It does on very smooth and the line is consistent. I am going to go ahead and buy some of the black ink too just to have it around. I know I will use them. I have a feeling I am going to be going through a lot of ink with this pen.

My line up of favorites

10 Years Since the Crash

Today marks the 10 year anniversary of me almost dying. People who didn't know me at that time may not know what happened. I was in Cincinnati visiting my roomate from my freshman year of college, Brian. We were driving aound town on a Saturday afternoon in a Ford Escort. I was in the passenger seat. At a blind intersection he pulled out in front of a Ford F150 going 55mph. It hit the side of the car just in front of the driver's side door. We spun around several times, ending up in the ditch. Two helicopters came for us. They took us to separate hospitals. We both survived. The guy in the truck was fine.

We were both pretty messed up. Brian had a broken collar bone, broken ribs, and a punctured lung. I had no broken bones. But I hit my head... hard. The entire left side of my brain was bruised. There was swelling, but it was under control.

I don't remember anything. I don't remember the accident. I don't remember going to the hospital. I don't even remember much from the day leading up to the accident. I have vague memories of being in the hospital, but it is difficult to tell what is true memory and what has been constructed from what people told me about it later. I remember being in pain, and being confused, but surprisingly relaxed.

I got to go home on my 20th birthday. I remember walking out of the hospital and getting in the car... then nothing after that. I probably fell asleep. I slept a lot. I have in and out memories of people coming to see me over the next several days. I was in no mood to socialize. I mostly complained about people being too loud, and the lights being too bright. I probably wasn't very appreciative of the support. After a few days I started to "come back". I remember recognizing that I was disconnected. It was almost like I was lost in my own thoughts, but I don't think there was anything going on in my head. It was too busy healing; repairing itself. I had to go to "physical therapy" sessions at the hospital. They would ask me questions. That is about all it consisted of. I had to do crossword puzzles and stuff like that to make sure I still knew stuff I guess.

I had a lot of headaches. My neuologist recommended that I skip a semester of college. My sophomore year was starting in less than 2 weeks. Within the first week I thought I was feeling better, and decided I wanted to go back. My doctor cleared me. I worked with the great Dr. James Barany at Purdue to work out my schedule. I took as few credit hours as I could and still be a full time student. I ended up taking a speed reading class. It wasn't all fun and games. I also took a physics class and multivariate calculus.

Right at first it was a strange feeling. In my head I felt like I knew how to do certain things, but I was unable to put together some of the fundamentals of calculus. I had to look things up that I had done tons of times since high school. Those early homework sessions in the study room at my dorm were the only times that I felt scared. It could have been nothing more than just the summer rust. Who knows. But I felt like maybe my brain was damaged in some way. Maybe there were things that I would never remember again, and not even realize it. It is a weird feeling when you don't know what you don't know. Anyway, I went to class and did my homework. It eventually came back to me. I got a "B".

I had to organize my schedule so my classes didn't start until the afternoon. I slept 12 to 14 hours every night. I'd go to bed at 8 and get up at 11 the next morning. I'm sure everybody's college experiences were similar. I continued to have headaches. They lasted for months.

There is a 4 month gap in my life that I really can't make sense of. I typically have decent long term memory, but nothing for that time. Even writing this now I am not confident of any of these memories. I've kept a journal since Sept 11th, 2001. Even now I write in it weekly at least. There is nothing from the months of August 2002 to December 2002.

There are a lot of stories of brain injuries that did not go as well as mine. I realize how truly lucky I am. I am thankful. I'd be lying if I said I think about it every day. I get complacent. I let myself forget what happened. I let myself believe that I deserve my full recovery.

I'd never had a head injury before that day. That is lucky for me. It might have caused the outcome to go differently. I haven't had a head injury since. I hope I never do. I enjoy cycling, but I always wear a helmet. I won't ride a mountain bike, even with a helmet. I fear driving at times, but I especially fear riding. I am mindful every time I get in the car that somebody could hit me, and there is little I can do about that. As teenagers we all feel invincible. I stopped feeling invincible when I was 19 years and 362 days old, and haven't felt invincible since.

Bachelor Week

On Saturday my wife left to visit her parents for a week with our baby girl. I have been a bachelor all week. It has been so weird. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I didn't think it would be this creepy to be in a totally quiet house. I thought I would have tons of free time, and I planned a lot of chores for myself to get done. So far I have kept myself extremely busy.

I went to see the new Batman movie this weekend on my own. I wasn't all that impressed and it wiped out 4 hours of my Sunday. I was planning on biking some this week, but it has been so hot. I haven't gone once. By the time I get home from work, make dinner, clean up, and watch a little olympics it is time to go to bed. Last night I did spend the entire evening putting together the toy kitchen we bought for Amelia. She is going to be so pumped when she sees it. I can't wait for her to get home.

I am closing in on my 30th very quickly. I have a few more days to enjoy my 20's, then it is over. No more fun and games.